


Take Me Out of My Head

by Airdanteine



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, F/F, F/M, Hook-Up, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Tinder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-06-26 13:08:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Airdanteine/pseuds/Airdanteine
Summary: "As Dick got comfortable in his shitty, beat-up car, he took the opportunity to get back to swiping on Tinder again. Women and men alike filled his dashboard, and humanity-loving Dick just found himself hopelessly swiping right, a slave to the wonderful shapes of the human body. He came across a pretty blue-eyed blonde “Cheryl”, a sweet soft looking “Brandon,” a-A hot, hunky, mechanic “Jason”..."~Dick decides to pursue a police officer career in Bludhaven to both do good and get away from Bruce and Gotham. He however finds himself trapped alone in a cycle of paranoia and stress, from being harassed by fellow policemen, attempting to get through a daily 12 hour graveyard shift, to facing the truth of the streets of Blud. Dick takes to Tinder to spent the remaining 12 hours of each day fucking his mind away, then going back to his apartment. Alone. No friends. No family. Constant pain. Cured by brainless sex.Until he matches with a certain mechanic bad boy Jason.





	1. I Sink Down the Drain

Dick couldn’t find it in him to appreciate the appreciative eye.

Whether being checked out by the general public during his patrols as a police officer or having a thousand eyes on how his sweatpants fit his ass when grocery shopping, all he could feel was danger. A lack of safety, despite knowing he could handle himself just fine. A whole lot of disgust, too, both at being objectified, and something deep within he’d rather not talk about.

Well, it’s not like he could do much talking or calling out with cock in his mouth.

Hyper-aware of the utter lack of lubricant and the dryness of his mouth, Dick slowly sucked, bobbing his head while pressing his tongue on the vein of the underside of the man’s cock. Said man seemed to think it was a fantastic blowjob, pupils wide with lust and a distinctly appreciative look in his eyes. Appreciative, as in the man stared at him like a glorified sex doll, like a submissive, degraded toy doing as he wished. Dick mentally revolted. As far as he could tell, the guy was enjoying it. But with the poor inner walls of his cheeks getting abrasions from dry cock, Dick wasn’t.

“You like this cock, don’t you?” The man sneered, and Dick struggled to not roll his eyes. _No sir,_ Dick thought. _It’s so curved that it pokes my left cheek_. But the lack of Dick’s response, which was likely supposed to be a moan or a muffled yes or maybe even a thumbs up, bothered the stranger, who lost some of the haughtiness in his eyes. _That’s fucking right, moron,_ Dick thought as he took a particularly deep dive down the cock, hitting what should be his throat, but was more of the left wall of it. _Maybe you should give me some “Yes” or “No” signs so I can answer you while your cock’s in my throat the next time._

But as he finished the thought, the mood around them began to sour, almost as if he said it out loud. He could see the conflict in the stranger’s eyes, like he was deciding if Dick was just not answering or if he didn't actually like it. Dread filled Dick as he slowed his sucking and pulled his mouth off, which at least relieved the pain in his cheeks. The man’s sneer took a downturn, confusion flitting across his face.

Sex was an exercise in pushing the boundaries of pride and insecurity, and Dick hated it.

Dick knew for a fact that if he didn’t act now, he was going to ruin the mood. And in a way, Dick knew he was being unfair, picking at perfectly normal curved cocks, over...whatever the fuck he was upset about.

Dick circled his tongue around the head of the stranger’s cock, dipping the tip in the hole and flicking a few times. It drew surprise from the stranger, eyebrows wriggling between confused, outraged and shock. _First time being penetrated, bitch?_ Dick smirked, pressing a little deeper before drawing back and willing some saliva. With long licks, Dick painted lines along the man’s shaft, moving to make quick work before they dried. Licking his lips, satisfied with the wetness of his handiwork, Dick dived in.

He heard the stranger strangle a moan as he quickened his pace, the now-adequate lubrication easing the motion. He began to build pressure, pressing his tongue hard against it, hollowing his cheeks and clamping down the immediate underside of his lips. Dick saw him curl his fingers into the bedsheets out of the corner of his eyes, giving Dick the turn on he _needed._ Finally enjoying himself, Dick pushed against the strain in the back of his neck and the stretch of his lips, bobbing his head faster and faster, pushing deeper and deeper till the corner of his eyes began to water. As his vision blurred, it became much easier to forget the fool before him and sink into the euphoria, that elevated headspace that both drowned the noise of the world and pumped blood straight to his cock.

Dick sputtered as he willed himself to keep the cock deep in his throat, then finally pulled out to gasp for air. As the noise of his surroundings returned, Dick felt his rapid heart beats in the throbbing of his cock, now leaking with precum. _I could come like this,_ Dick thought as he gulped, attempting to soothe his sore throat. 

Then the stranger snaked his hand to the back of Dick’s head, grabbed his hair, and forced it down while Dick was still gulping.

With an obscene squelch, the blunt force of the cock’s head rammed into the closed glottis of his throat, bringing about a kind of searing pain similar to being punched in an open wound. Anger soared through Dick’s head, outraged at the pain, the fucking audacity, the fucking entitlement required to fucking shove someone’s fucking face down your stupid fucking cock like the only thing that ever mattered was their stupid fucking cock-

Dick bit. Hard.

The stranger roared, releasing his grip. Dick jumped off his cock and grabbed his clothing, wrenching on boxers and busting out the room with one leg in his pants. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!?!?” He heard the stranger roar, followed by feet thumping on the ground, giving Dick the cue to fucking leave. Grabbing his phone off the dining table, Dick wrangled on his t-shirt and hurried out the apartment door, breaking into a run to the elevators and punching the down button like his life depended on it. A college-aged girl in a Starbucks apron was staring at him, likely attempting to discern if this was a fight or flight situation, and if she should be bothered. Dick braced an elbow against the wall and stared at the girl, huffing and panting as angry uproars resounded behind them, getting louder.

“You...you okay?” She asked in a half-concerned, half should-I-be-getting-into-this voice and Dick could only smile in amusement, wondering if the girl was more frazzled than he was. 

“We’re fine, I think,” Dick huffed as the elevator dinged, then motioned the girl to enter the lift before him. As the elevator doors closed before him, Dick couldn’t decide if the last angry scream he heard was an intense echo, or if the asshole got close.

~

The girl could probably smell the sex on him, and he made no secret of wiping precome off his lips. But blessed be the Starbucks barista, for she did nothing but make an ‘OK’ sign with her fingers, as she looked right at him with those...understanding eyes and looked away to mind her own business when he nodded his head. As if nothing had happened. Which was exactly what his high blood pressure needed; some peace.

He stared long and hard at the seemingly-nonchalant girl, wondering if he’d just participated in some kind of woman-code. 

The elevator doors dinged open to the carpark, and the acrobat finally stepped into open space. Dick flashed a winning smile and waved goodbye to the girl before jogging to his beat-up Honda, hoping to living god that a meter maid (poor rookie) hadn’t come by his very illegally parked car, slotted sideways into a VIP lot. Finding his wipers free of tickets, Dick mentally whooped. It would have been extremely hard to explain freeloading in a foreign residency car park to his own colleagues. The Bludhaven Police Department.

As Dick got comfortable in his shitty, beat-up car, he took the opportunity to get back to swiping on Tinder again, both wanting to secure a hookup for tomorrow and a little curious to see if Mr. Head-Pushing Asshole was gonna follow him out to the carpark. Women and men alike filled his dashboard, and humanity-loving Dick just found himself hopelessly swiping right, a slave to the wonderful shapes of the human body. He came across a pretty blue-eyed blonde “Cheryl”, a sweet soft looking “Brandon,” a-

A hot, hunky, mechanic “Jason”...

Dick hunched over his screen, wide-eyed as he flicked through this Jason’s profile. Peering out from the underside of a car with a black smudge on his nose. Looking a little pissed off. Another image with him posing, with a hand holding up a garage door, giant guns in display. Delicious muscles. Again, looking irritated. Looking at the camera like he’d just noticed it. Brows furrowed. The summer sun in his face, lighting his hazel-green eyes not unlike those of a hawk. Every other photo followed suit, depicting him caught in the moment. Angry, buff mechanic bad boy.

Dick drooled. Then swiped the fuck right. Dick gripped his wheel as he pulled out of the car park, heart thundering for the first time in a while. Who was this “Jason”? Would he swipe right too??? Hopefully????

Afternoon summer sun pelted through the windshield as he finally got back on the road, switching his mood from “play” to “work” against his will. Thoughts of this “Jason” subsided as his mind prepared for the usual evening-graveyard shift. His body whined and complained, amplifying the soreness of his feet from work, thighs from leg day, and his poor ass from minutes ago. Being rawed out was fun if you got to sleep afterwards. But night cops didn’t necessarily have that luxury.

3pm to 6am. 12 hours. Everyday, 12 hours. Weekends as well. Technically these shifts required a day off every 3 days at least, and that’s what his lovely schedule said, but Mother Blud never had no mercy. 12 hour evening/graveyard shifts for Officer Grayson and other night owls, and the other 12 hour morning/afternoon shifts for the chirping morning birds. 

One of said chirpers appeared behind him in the locker room, dangling car keys by his ear. Dick, frozen in his attempt to pull his pants up before anyone noticed the uh…stains on his briefs, took a split second to gain back control of himself, recognising him as one of the greenhorn cadets just giving him patrol-car-custody. The blonde-haired, blue eyed boy slid to his side, smiling widely. But what the little runt didn’t know was that he’d inadvertently given every cop in the vicinity an excuse to turn their heads to the jingling and check Dick out, if they weren’t already.

An uneasy silence overtook the room. Dick gulped.

 _He doesn’t know. And he’s being playful, not insulting,_ Dick reasoned, as he plucked it from Chirper’s hands, running his thumb over ridges of the Ford logo. But in the few seconds it took to turn his head, reach for the key and turn back, he noticed his neighbouring locker-mate behind Chirper, sneering at him with both lust and disdain. Waiting to get to his locker. Watching Dickie primp.

Eyes pointedly switching between Dick’s eyes and his navy blue brief-clad ass. Which had a wet spot.

 

Dick grit his teeth as his blood pressure rose for the second time that day.

Chirper decidedly has no social awareness, for he proceeded to ask about his day. Dick heard the distinct sound of foot tapping follow. The rebel in Dick rang alarm bells, signaling an opportunity to give the sleeze shit and hold up the lockers. Widen his stance, fiddle with his buckle and button-up. But while he’d love to, Dick would rather not find his locker defective the next day. 

Although, Chirper here wouldn’t do a thing, would he?

Dick smiled at Chirper with the kind of veiled voraciousness that vaguely unsettled people. People like pure boy chirper. Dick didn’t know if Chirper understood, or if he was just frightened, but his smile just dropped as he scampered away.

Dick immediately felt terrible.

But Dick may not have played his cards right, for as the kid left and Dick finally got his pants up and buckled in, Locker-mate zoomed towards him, stepping into his personal space.

Dick had a pretty good spatial awareness. Which including knowing that a hand was hovering in front of his ass. Anxiety thrummed around Dick as his vision blurred.

_If that fucker comes near me I will kill. If that fucker comes near me I will kill. I will kill. By the gun in my belt I will fucking kill-_

But just as the moron appeared in his space, he went out of it, instead elbowing him aside to his locker. Dick was just fine with that, slamming his locker door close and getting the fuck out.

~

Stuck in intense peak hour traffic, Dick slowly inched forward his rickety Crown Vic, feeling his already-sore ass sag into the well-worn driver’s seats. For some of the vehicles, the shotgun seat too would have holes, exposed sponge and embedded donut crumbs, but that symptom died out as patrol partners became obsolete with the shrinking police force. Which left Dick alone to the streets of Blud, with her stinking alleyways, the damp rubbish-filled grass and the dusty pothole-spotted streets. Where every week, a new set of bodies lay in impossible positions, waiting to be found.

But as long as Dick was a lowly patrolman, his encounters with dead bodies ended with finding them. He just needed to drive his car, keep an eye out on the neighbourhoods for 12 hours, answer to backup and give a ticket or two. His desk was the dashboard. He did his paperwork on his lap. As far as Dick was concerned, his job happened in whatever patrol car his gets that day, and Blud itself. And on said dashboard, Dick’s phone started to buzz.

It buzzed, and buzzed and buzzed, frequency not unlike the irritating buzz of a fly. The vibrations were not a phone call, but rather a rapid amount of text messages. An unwanted interruption of Dick’s impending headache, borne out both the traffic and an unaddressed post-sex haze. Which he anticipated and decided to deal with for the sake of sex. And for what? A bit of cock blood? Dick sucked the spaces between his teeth, rationalising that it was likely just a bleeding gum.

(Because if Dick really did leave a mark, even if there were no traces of his saliva left on Mr. Asshole’s cock, his teeth marks would match his dental records and lead them to Dick. Them, being his own department’s forensics team. In other words, as his jaded policeman-brain rationalised, if Mr. Asshole decided to make a sexual battery report, Dick was screwed.)

Dick ran a hand through his sex-sweat mopped hair. Traffic moved another inch.

The phone _buzzed._

Getting pissy, Dick finally picked up the phone to see dozen or so Tinder messages and a few new matches in his notifications. He flicked through them, combing through the “Wow”s, the “DTF?”s and the occasional “Hmmmmmmmhello beautiful ;)”s. A few angry demands for his attention followed, and while Dick could easily roll his eyes at the passive aggressive “so you’re gone huh”s, he couldn’t help but wince at the stray “Hello?”s or “Again?”s from guys he’d fucked once and never again. Dick’s MO. Other than that, just emails from health and workout sites.

A message from Bruce popped in his SMS.

With it came notification previews from hundreds of texts left by family and friends. Dick witnessed their frustrated yelling at his ghosting through his message previews, from Barb’s and Dami’s threats to Tim and Donna’s more rational baiting. And...and Bruce. Dick watched him move from stern outrage to full blown, raw frustration. And then the soft, quiet pleading to come back home. He never really saw any of the full conversations. He couldn’t bear to. Bruce’s and Dami’s broke his heart the most.

Dick swiped Bruce’s and everyone’s message previews before he could read it.

Dick ran away from Gotham and Bruce to be a police officer in Bludhaven. This was his life now. Be ogled and harassed at work, then come home to a Tinder date’s bedroom, go back to his shitty flat to sleep it off for an hour before going to work again.

No friends. No family. Constant pain.

Cured by brainless sex.

Rubbing his eyes, Dick put back his phone on the dashboard and did his best to concentrate on the clearing road before him. This was his life now, and he was gonna live it.

The stupid phone buzzed again.

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before driving ahead to the next red light, then picking it up. Another damn Tinder notification. Two of them, one that said he had a match, and another saying there’s a message by “Jason”.

Dick flicked the app open so fast he feared his nail would scratch the screen. In their DMs, Jason message read:

“Who is this???”


	2. And I Claw Through the Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason's been stuck in the dark for too long. Until he matches with an actual angel.

The grinding sound of metal against metal may unnerve most, but to Jason, it was music. 

In his open air garage, now cast in evening darkness, Jason tinkered blindly under a wrangled Audi, attempting to rescue the rear axillary system from near certain collapse. But Jason was born to the taste of metal, so he and witnesses of his mechanic magic alike weren’t too worried. Even when operating under minimal light. Especially when operating under minimal light. Jason was a Gotham street boy, and Gothamites alike had an addiction to the dark.

Which was of course unduly interrupted by his phone flashing bright, blinding light to the side of his face.

Squinting painfully, Jason darted his arm out to reach for his phone, only to jam his fingers into tire spokes. An immediate knee-jerk reaction followed, landing his knee in the mangled midsection. Through the pain he saw the light cut out as fast as it came, like a timed prank. Jason sighed.

Gritting his teeth in pain, Jason cursed as he slowly removed his fingers and reached out to pick up the phone. He rolled out from under the car to safely pinch the bridge of his nose. Rubbing his eyes, Jason turned his phone on again and squinted at the bright screen, slowly adjusting back to light. Roy’s text notification finally appeared before him, displaying a simple “ _omw_ ”. Swears danced at the tip of his tongue as he felt tempted to call the fucker and demand reasonable things like “ _yes Roy I’m doing fine thanks for asking,_ ” “ _how about fucking telling me ur ETA in numbers you moron,_ ” and “ _bring food or get kicked out,_ ” until another notification popped up, saying “ _got burgers. <3 u too._” The throbbing in his stubbed fingers and bruised knee immediately subsided at the thought of junk food. “ _You’re a blessing on this planet,_ ” Jason texted back, mentally blocking the half-truth of it. Roy really had his back.

Jason scrolled through his notifications, some emails, but mostly texts from customers, who seemed to prefer sending insurance information through SMS. He kneaded at his temple, feeling an unnatural anger that flooded him constantly since he ran from Gotham. Whether it was trauma or culture shock, he didn’t know. He just knew there was something dark brewing within him now, impatient to rear its ugly face.

His phone buzzed as a notification popped up. Snapping out of it, Jason scrolled up, expecting another text from Roy.

Rather, it read, “ _whoa tiger. :tiger-emoji: You’re on fire! Day summary: 999+ likes!_ ” 

_Likes???_ Jason thought, switching between confusion and disbelief. _For what???_ As far as Jason was concerned, he’d deleted all his social media accounts when he...ran, and even then, he didn’t put much on it. The notification was paired with another one below it, stating “ _You have a new match!_ ” The number “ _14_ ” was inscripted in the top right corner, denoting a chain notification. 

Jason dragged it down to see several “ _You have a new match_ ”s and “ _(insert name) sent you a new message,_ ” all with this fire symbol thing to the right of the messages, and the wheels started turning in Jason’s head. Jason tapped on one of the “new match” notifications, which brought up someone’s DM. Someone apparently named “Dick.”

Smack middle of the DM was what Jason guessed was their profile photo. “Dick” was sat in car in full police uniform, hair perfectly coiffed and blue eyes cast to a distance. His ¾ angle showed off a solid jaw and sharp cheekbones. Mouth slightly parted as he raised a coffee cup to his lips. The man looked like a model. 

Somewhat flabbergasted with both paranoia and disbelief sword fighting in his brain, Jason typed “ **Who is this???** ” and sent it, the irrational feeling of being attacked bubbling within him. Because if Jason was right, and he thought he was likely right as he exited the DM and faced a multitude of profile photos and fuck tonnes of messages by unknown people, this was a dating app. He eventually found his way to his own profile full of photos he didn’t remember taking and...Roy. Motherfucker. Cocksucking fuckass bitch and his damn new Canon, sneaking up on him at work, promising to ‘never show this to anyone.’ This was his end.

Fighting off a throbbing headache, Jason clicked on Dick’s DM again and clicked on the top-left profile photo, hoping to get to the actual profile. It indeed brought up some equivalent of it, first photos and some text beneath. Jason swiped through the photos, increasingly becoming convinced that this Dick was either an model/escort specialising in police kinks, or an actual honest to god neighbourhood policeman who was too damn hot for his tight work pants.

Brain dysfunctional, he decided to put his phone down for a moment and breath in the pleasant dark. 

A distant sound of a powerful motorcycle decided to instead invade his thoughts, although first irritating, began to soothe his thoughts and the engine grew louder. Jason didn’t really know what it said about him as he got up to tires skidding at his doorstep. 

Roy pulled off his helmet with a smile, holding up plastic bags full of food.

“Fucker, you got me on Tinder didn’t you,” Jason deadpanned, allowing distant menace to channel through his voice. Like a scolded puppy, Roy lowered his armfuls of food and mock pouted. Jason turned his back and walked to the garage door controls.

“Hear me out!” Roy exclaimed as he held his arms up in surrender, eyes trained on the switch. The rustling of the bags followed with, and what Roy didn’t need to know was that the food was the only thing keeping him in.

“Why,” Jason asked, crossing his impressive arms in hopes of giving mildly threatening vibes. Which he probably didn’t since Roy’s archer arms outranked his for miles, but it was worth the try.

“Cause you need to get laid,” Roy spoke as he got off his bike, slowly wheeling it in while keeping an eye out for Jason, like a man with a gun trained on him. 

“We’re off the grid,” Jason stressed, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. “And I don’t need to get laid.”

“We were off the grid before the auto-shop. Now we’re on the grid with a very _legal_ auto-shop. We’re fine. And you definitely need to get laid.”

“Why the fuck do you think I need to get laid?” Jason asked, frustration piling as Roy nonchalantly placed the bags on his work table, placing food cartons near screwdrivers. 

“Because when I bring you food you look like you wanna fuck me,” Roy said frankly, picking up hot sauce packets and waving it at Jason. _Asshole,_ Jason internally snarled, pupils trained on the packets. Jason was a slut for hot sauce and men holding hot sauce, and Roy knew it.

“That’s cause it’s food. I like food,” Jason adamantly reasoned as he walked a little too fast to a carton and grabbed the packets out of Roy’s hand, and began to assault his burger with spicy goodness.

“Fuckin your food sounds right to you?” Roy sounded surprised, the neanderthal. One day, he’d know, Jason thought as he dug in, eyes rolling back in satisfaction at the taste of carbs, rich cheese, thick meat, salty pickles and _crispy_ lettuce. Jason had no doubt it was probably a pretty shitty discount burger, but his hunger made up for what it might have lacked in taste. He could feel Roy’s eyes trained at him is disgust, but Jason didn’t care. He’d been working all day, and he needed _food_.

“Yeah alright,” Roy spoke, sounding strangled. “I take it back. That’s not relevant, that’s just your fetish.”

“Uhuh,” Jason groaned, hoping that was the end of the conversation. Once he was done, as Roy put it, fucking his food, he was going to uninstall the app and forget about hot policeman. Really hot model policeman. Hot neighbourhood policeman who’s lot Jason had been evading his whole life but this one, this particular hot policeman, he’d let arrest him and do all kinds of searches all night.

Jason blinked. 

“Dude. Look at me, okay?” Roy spoke, the concern in his voice giving Jason the acute need to crawl in a hole. “I’m your friend. I know these things. You pop a vein a hundred times a day at shitty customers, you’re constantly doin miracles with these fucked-up cars, workin in the dark,” Roy absently pointed at the overhead neglected light bulbs and Jason gave in, walking over to a panel and switching a few necessary lights on. 

“We were underground for _months,_ ” Roy stressed, and Jason cringed at that, feeling the acute absence of Gotham ache in his chest. Bludhaven may be dark, but it had its own foreign nuances that he’d had yet to navigate. And Roy had been there for him, far away from Star City, dragging his ass across state lines.

“You gotta empty your balls man. You gotta get laid,” Roy concluded his thesis with a satisfying sigh, burying his maw back in burger land. Likely knowing that he’d won. Jason _hated_ it when he was right. Emptying his balls sounding really fucking good. More than good actually, Jason thought as he absently kneaded at a knot in his shoulder muscles. 

“There’s a super hot police guy in my DMs…” Jason murmured as he tossed his wrapper into the bin and turned on his phone. Roy’s eyes grew wide as they twinkled with glee. 

“It’s Dick, isn’t it?!?” Roy excitedly spoke as he gulped down the last of his food to make grabby hands at his phone, which Jay immediately ducked. 

“This is the last time you’re touching my phone, fuckface,” Jason warned as he unlocked his phone. “And how do you know my password anyway?”

“You’re predictable when you’re horny,” Roy lamented as he peeked over Jason’s shoulder, peering at the screen. Jason elected to ignore Roy as he swiped to Dick’s DM, and tilted the phone so they both could see it clearly.

“...Why the fuck did you send that????” Roy squealed right into Jason’s ear, and viola, a headache came in at full force.

“Because I thought he was some kind of catfish,” Jason mumbled as the lack of logic in his greeting caught up to him. He was uncontrollably reacting out of paranoia, thinking this ‘Dick’ was out to get him, that was what it was. Jason frowned as he filed that info for later.

“Right, well, that’s an idiot response. A complete idiot response,” Roy chided as he finally snatched Jason’s phone from him, and Jason let him. 

“When I matched with the guy noon today, I left the notification the fuck alone so you’d see it. I did my background check, he’s a certified officer of the BPD,” Roy dramatically stressed at ‘officer,’ as if that was supposed to mean anything to Jason.

It sorta kinda meant something to Jason. In the “wow I did not know this was my fetish” sort of way.

“...Tell me what the fuck to do,” Jason grumbled as he motioned for the phone back. In mid-pass, the phone buzzed, and Roy’s face lit alight. Ignoring the teen girl next to him, Jason read the DM.

“ **...Your friendly neighbourhood policeman? XD** ” Dick’s message read, and by god, Jason felt like a teen girl too. Stuck in place, thumbs hovering over the screen, eyes darting towards Roy for help on what the hell to do. 

“Be smooth. Play off him,” Roy gleamed from the side, practically vibrating with energy.

“ **Fuck, sorry, I didn’t know-** ” Jason typed and backspaced, staring at the letter of the keyboard like it would give him the answer. Jason typed and retyped, clumsily pressing his thumbs and fingers all over the lower screen. Jason closed his eyes.

_What would High Empress Jane Austen write,_ Jason thought, tipping his head up to the roof. Roy stared at him, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. _How can I be a good Mr. Darcy to this Elizabeth Bennet? Well, granted that he was the lower class one, or maybe moreso metaphorically lower class, as in “out of his league,” but Fuckboi Darcy was always out of Lizzy’s league-_

“ **Whoops, I sent that while I was distracted. How are you?** ” Jason typed in one go, channeling his inner bougie with every keystroke. His foul mouth could fuck off for now. He pressed send without a moment’s thought.

“Brutal,” Roy whistled as they both relaxed, Jason uncurling his sweaty grip on his phone. A new message popped up and both fools were back to intensely crouching over the phone.

“ **Great! In middle of patrol. Shit will probs pick up soon,** ” read Dick, and both men immediately tensed in concern.

“ **You alright???** ” Jason typed, forgetting to seem like he didn’t care. Which he supposed, was the right move.

“ **Hah! I guess that sounded ominous. I’m fine! At traffic light. :D** ”

“ **Aren’t you not supposed to text and drive, officer?** ” Jason could hear Roy whisper a whoop in encouragement. Jason appreciated it as he hit send. 

“ **I’m the officer here babe, I’ll decide the rules ;)** ” Roy squealed right in his ear, and Jason squealed too, albeit in his head. 

“ **Fine by me, officer.** ”

“ **You bet it’ll be ;) I gotta go babe, I’ll text you when I’m off. You’ll be up, hopefully?** ” Jason’s pupils dilated at that. _Yes, yes,_ a voice resounded within Jason’s head. And maybe his cock. _I’ll pin my eyes open if I have to._

“ **I’ll be up, yeah,** ” Jason wrote, pressed send and tipped his head back, smile inevitably growing on his face.

“You’re getting him dude,” Roy spoke, and Jason could hear the glee in his voice. He could feel his own glee bubbling in his throat. Maybe, for once, this bad boy’s luck might turn right round.

~

Hook, line and sinker? Fuck that. Pre-written flirts and copy-paste invites went out the window when it came to this “Jason.”

Dick was _drooling._ He was drooling and he couldn’t get enough. He flicked through Jason’s profile for the hundredth time that morning, memorising every muscle, every tendon, every delicious form on his big, buff body. Dick felt the kind of rush he hadn’t felt in so long, the kind that told him boy, you’ve got someone _good_.

A gruff cough to his side however reminded him of someone not that good. A few days ago, Dick had lined up an early morning quickie after work this day, much to his recent chagrin, and he thought he’d just be picked up a nondescript location, driven to the guy’s house, fuck, and maybe get a free ride back. But upon greeting, the fucker mentioned “finding a parking garage” and Dick would have honestly walked out if he didn’t...if he didn’t need this. Somehow.

Dick needed to fuck, then fuck off and message Jason. And hopefully bumbling around in a pickup trick would fulfill task one.

“So uh...you wanna suck my dick?” Pickup Fuck asked, and Dick just stared at him, stared at the brightly lit eight A.M. traffic before them, and back at him, hoping he’d get the message. He did not.

“There’re people,” Dick mock-shyly spoke, training his eyes on the rows of drivers on the other side of the road who could very easily look back. Some of them did. Dick didn’t risk shit like this. He never gave his address, never mentioned any kind of personal information, and he was intent on never being caught sucking cock by his own police colleagues.

“It’ll be fun,” the guy smiled, then cackled like a high-strung bird. Dick did his damn best to maintain a poker face, but the warped sound coming out of man’s mouth just unnerved him. Dick didn’t feel safe. The guy snaked a hand around Dick to squeeze his ass, and that was it, Dick knew he wanted out.

He didn’t know how to get out.

They’d tried entering a few parking garages but of course, the fucking pickup was too tall to enter any of them. They were now somewhere in Blud suburbia, far from the streets Dick knew, and he could either break out and walk until he found some resemblance of public transportation, or stay, do whatever, and get easy transport back home.

Dick didn’t often play safe. But he’d rather be home, no matter how lonely and cold.

“You think this works?” The guy asked, rearing into a small parking section next to what Dick presumed was a park. It was open-air and a bit aways from traffic. Clearly marked “Employees Only.”

“Let’s do it,” Dick whispered, and the guy looked surprised. Must have caught on to his reluctance. But Dick didn’t give a fuck anymore as he took off his seatbelt and slid his knee against the guy’s cock, pressing his own junk against his thigh. The man groaned, groping his ass and pulling Dick against him in all the ways Dick liked. Dick held onto the pleasure like a mantra, forgetting the man below him to instead concentrate on the fingers on his ass, the thigh against his covered cock, the teeth biting into his collarbone. 

Dick moaned as he grinded, bucking and pressing and grasping onto the guys head as he fucked himself on his thigh, eyes shut in heady imagination. The guy’s moans were high-pitched whines, but Dick mentally converted it to gasping moans, thinking _yes, yes, you want me, don’t you? Whine, bitch, whine._

The man’s fingers slipped down his pants to touch his hold but no, Dick wasn’t having it. He pulled himself away to manhandle the guy on his back and lay him across the seats in was was likely an uncomfortable position. Dick climbed on and hooked his leg between the other’s, grinding hard with everything he had. He felt the guy cling onto him and screech-whine as he finally gyrated back, and that’s exactly what Dick needed, two sets of thighs clasped onto one another, grinding so slightly yet hard and mind-blowingly deep-

Dick cried as he released into his pants, cum dribbling and forming a wet spot in his inner jeans. Unfortunate, but it happened and he’d deal with it. Guy on the other hand was desperately pulling his pants open to pop his cock out, desperately pumping at as he motioned Dick to come close. To likely put it in his mouth.

Not today, Dick thought as he dropped low and hovered close, never touching his cock. It did it for the guy anyway as he released, and Dick was quick to dodge the stream. Dick pulled a few tissues from a fallen pack of kleenex and offered it to him.

“Where’s the nearest metro station?” Dick asked as the guy sat up, clearly dazed.

“Nah, I’ll take you home,” The guy smiled and laughed that strange, unnerving laugh of his, and Dick suppressed a cringe and smiled along. Mission success.

Dick’s phone buzzed from beneath the seat, and Dick stumbled over himself to pick it up. His wishes came true as he saw the distinct “Jason sent you a new message” light up his screen. 

“ **Shit, fuck, I’m sorry, fell asleep,** ” it read, and Dick couldn’t help but curl into the seat, clutching his phone to his chest as he tipped his head back, and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh Dicky. You have a problem. And Jay boy's finally feelin some hope tonight! Stay tuned to see if they'll fuuuuck. Though, will they date? :))))) 
> 
> I'm Airdanteine or Air, and I do art and writing for Batman and Jaydick stuff. You can check out my art at <https://www.airsart.tumblr.com>. If you like it, do kudos, bookmark or leave a comment below!


	3. Lord Just Let Me Be Vain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya boi Dickie's still filling time with brainless sex. He's still on it with Jason though. And things are getting...heated.

It takes about fifteen to thirty minutes to have sex.

It’s not that hard an activity to figure out, play about and be done with. _Especially_ male gay sex where both partners have predictable cocks that stand to attention and spurt cum fast enough, many times, too fast. Though there are outliers that require longer stimulation and that’s just fine-heck, sometimes it’s a bonus.

But it sure is an inconvenience for Officer Grayson who thought he was grabbing a quickie before work.

“Mmm, yeah,” the stranger groaned into his ear as he held Dick down and fucked him at a frustratingly mild pace. Dick just held onto the bed frame and faked a few moans, getting louder and louder to encourage him to maybe speed it up a bit. 

“Shh, we gotta be quiet,” the man muffled Dick with a hand, and that was plain irritating. Dick just huffed and propped himself up on his elbows, eyes wandering around the apartment. Some strange red light from god knows where was the only light in the musty dark basement, which seemed to have been haphazardly repurposed into a one-room flat. Slow Fuck here had led him through some strange backyard entrance to said basement, instead of through the house itself. It was...much too suspicious.

But Dick dissuaded all fears based on the very valid fact that Slow Fuck was an unbelievably handsome Japanese graduate student who was otherwise extremely sweet. Because yes, Dick’s dick overcame Dick’s brain in the matters of attractiveness. Dick wondered if turning around and doing it missionary might help things along.

Dick mentally shrugged and slowly slid off the other’s cock, the action prompting the stranger to pause. Dick turned around, laid on his back, propped his legs up and smirked. He got the message.

And shit, yeah, it helped. Watching the eerie red light cascade along the sharp edges of his handsome face was definitely pretty hot. Sure, Dick was a little too stretched out and sore from the fucking going on down there, but Dick still managed to jack off while staring right at the guy. It was perhaps the highest compliment he’s ever paid, that this stranger will never know.

Though at this rate Dick was willing to rescind good will as he was still...going.

This was just getting annoying now. Dicks palms braced on the edge of the bed as he made his monotonous thrusts, the bed creaking at a constant beat. Dick ass at this point was a little too loose, a little too sore. A little too bored. If Dick could reach for his phone which was god knows where, he’d bet it was past time to be driving to work. Dick needed to speed this up. Now.

“Here,” Dick spoke as he again slid off the cock, motioning Slow Fuck to stand up straight as he himself slid to the floor. On his knees, he quickly took pulled off the condom, took the cock in his hands and guided it down his mouth. 

Dick began to suck fervently, employing ever method in the book: hollowed cheeks, tongue pressed and writing on cock, hand pumping the base as he bobbed his head along the length until he could take him in full. Slow Fuck’s cock was undeniably long, and Dick too great pleasure in feeling it slide down his throat, dangerously passing his tight hole of a glottis so sit warm and comfortable within him. The sheer twitching of Dick’s throat was driving Slow Fuck crazy, and Dick quickly coupled with the careful bobbing of his head.

 _Come on_ , Dick thought, eyes watering as he closed them to only feel the glide of cock along his throat. It felt damn good-too good, considering Dick’s intentions were brevity, but Dick enjoyed it regardless, giving into the sensations of deepthroating himself on the stranger’s cock. That sheer euphoria Dick seemed to always chase while whoring himself out on cock was again within moment’s reach, coating Dick’s body and mind in the gratuitous high that came with giving such pleasure. He bobbed his head faster and faster, taking in the stranger deeper and deeper, beckoning himself to enter that wondrous headspace that now passed for home.

“I want to fuck you,” a whisper cut through Dick’s euphoria. Dick blinked. He tried to retort with a strained “excuse me?” but cock in his throat reduced it to a muffle. He popped the cock out and gave Slow Fuck a strained but careful stare.

“What?” Dick asked, having perfectly heard him. Slow Fuck’s cock bounced offensively in front of him, still raging hard. Dick just stared back, his pride a little hurt. Damnit. And here Dick thought he had a wonder mouth. 

“I want to fuck you,” the guy repeated, and Dick just stared at his face, wondering if he should risk punching it. Though they neither had the time nor windows, Dick knew he was late.

“Can’t I just...suck you off?” Dick forced a smile, trying to hint at urgency. The stranger nervously laughed, and Dick supposed, the man knew what his own dick needed. Hell, Slow Fuck was already reaching for another condom packet-which was a little flattering considering he was willing to spend two condoms at one go. Dick sighed, climbed back on the bed and went on all fours. 

In retrospect, he could have just left, but Dick felt like...he owed something, for the fortune of finally having one safe hookup.

~

Dick braced his hand against the wheel. His lungs heaved with strain and effort, the base of his throat hoarse from harsh breathing. His legs _ached_. He picked up the police scanner, and pressed a button.

“Grayson, 10-41,” Dick spoke, the roughness of his voice disintegrating into the crackles of the radio, and his supervisor merely grunted back. 

He wasn't late. Thank all the drowned gods of Blud. 

Dick was thus rewarded with a seemingly quiet evening of parking his car at an intersection, holding up traffic speed scanner and waiting. Mmmm. Prime work life. It truly was though, considering the horrors Dick had to deal with once midnight struck. Chasing down speeders at the velocity of a turtle race was a pace Dick warmly welcomed. 

Which of course, didn’t hurt to be interrupted by the buzzing of his phone.

Dick jumped in his seat, the anticipation that had been burning within him blooming brighter by the second. Jason. He’d crashed asleep once he was home after his dangerous car trip in the morning, the last of his energy spent on responding to Jason with a mere “you’re lucky you’re hot stuff ;).” He’d nearly called off his hookup with Slow Fuck, considering how both tired and...put off he felt, but...well. The need called again. 

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, letting the angst build-up at the back of his brain wash away. 

Dick turned the phone on, hoping to god it was who he hoped it was.

“ **True, seems like I’ve got a lucky streak going from matching with you gorgeous,** ” was Jason’s very recent reply, and Dick read it, re-read it, and slapping a hand on his burning cheek. Mr. Hot Rough Motorcycle Hunk was fucking smooth, dear god. Who was he, some literary author in disguise? Dick wasn’t going to survive at this rate.

_Okay, okay,_ Dick whispered to himself, gathering his wits. _We gotta direct this towards...sex?_ Ah. There came the fated question. What did Dick want from this? He tapped on Jason’s profile, flicking through all those sunset-laden sweaty sultry pictures of a hunky man hard at work. Yeah. Yeah, Dick was thirsty for it. 

“ **Mmmm, flatterer. Sounds like you’re tryna charm me into bed,** ” Dick replied. He could play the prose game too. 

“ **Me? Oh no no, nothing like that, beautiful,** ,” Jason reply sent Dick into fits of ugly snorts. Pfffft. Fucking snake charmer. 

“ **That so? What are you trying to do then?** ” 

“ **Oh, just trying to respectfully court you on his hellsite app** ,” Jason wrote, and that gave Dick another bout of the giggles. And a little...hope. Jason didn’t seem like the type to ditch and go. Dick...Dick didn’t really _want_ to be the type to ditch and go. _Yeah_ Dick affirmed to himself, again flicking through the photos. _We could do something_. But first...Dick found himself salivating over a photo of Jason under a car, pushing himself out enough to let the sunset drape over his sweaty bare abs. Dick was still thirsty as fuck. 

Step one of online hookups is hooking them in. Step two? Sex talk. 

“ **Hell yes. I’m in a real need of some respecting,** ” Dick typed, hoping Jason got the message. He had to. He could obviously pick up a hint. 

“ **Oh yeah?** ” came the quick reply, and Dick couldn’t help but pair that with a gruff, cig-ridden voice. Growling into his ear. Dick shuddered. Alright. Time to initiate. 

**“Yeah. What are you doing?”**

~

Jason’s vision was going hazy, one hand stabbing machinery with a wrech, another clutching hard at his phone. _Reply, dumbass,_ his mind supplied, and he took a grip of himself and moved his thumb.

“ **Working. On a car. I'm under it,** ” Jason supplied, hoping the phrasing was hot enough. Fuck. He’d never sexted before, and he was going up to bat with the one guy he didn’t want to fuck up with.

“ **Fuck yes,** ” Dick replied with such immediate fervency that Jason’s body flushed with bashfulness. He was getting dizzy under the blatant attention. 

“ **I’m looking at the photo of you under your car on your profile,** ” Dick continued, and Jason’s cheeks flushed harder as he too flicked to that image. Okay, yes. He did look kinda hot in it. Torso out, face upside down but peering angrily at the lens. 

“ **You look so hot Jay. I want you under me just like that,** ” Dick wrote, and an uncontrollable moan escaped from Jason’s lips. His head thudded backwards, scalp on hot searing cement. Possibly not as hot as the heat currently rippling through his body.

“ **Yeah? You wanna bounce on my lap, Dickie?** ” Jason texted back, running a hand through his sweat-slick hair and clenched hard. Jason could just imagine it, this golden tanned boy fucking himself up and down the length of his cock, clutching onto him and moaning for dear life.

“ **Yes!!! Fuck I wanna ride you like no tomorrow. Fuck. I bet you have a big cock, Jay,** ” Jason smirked at that. There were a few things he was confident about, this was one.

“ **You bet, gorgeous. Can you handle it?** ”

“ **Fuck! Only one way to find out. You touching yourself right now?** ” Jason was ripped out of the fantasy at the last question. His free hand was currently clutching his belt, absently tugging at it. He was obviously tenting. Yet as much as he’d love to tug his cock free, he was currently working in the car park in front of his garage, with several customers walking along rows of his fixer-upper handiworks. Roy was making rounds, using his magic to chat them up. He could attempt to be discrete, but fucking himself into his own hand wasn’t something he’d like to be caught doing.

“ **No, I can’t. I’ve got company.** ”

“ **I can’t either. Bodycam,** ” Jason just rolled his eyes back at that. This man was a fucking police man. Someone he should despise with all his heart, but currently was the hottest thing he could ever imagine right now.

“ **Fuck, you really are a police officer, huh? Tryna fuck some shady mechanic?** ” Jason hinted at the danger, feeling his common sense go over the edge.

“ **Yeah? I bet you’re a bad boy, I can feel it. Let this officer fuck it out of you,** ” Dick replied, and Jason was blanking. Yeah. Yeah, Jason needed this. 

“ **Yeah? When? Date, time,** ” Jason practically commanded. He wasn’t about to be flaked right now.

“ **Fuck. I love that. So commanding. Wait,** ” Jason felt himself clutch his phone harder, heart beating fast at the anticipation. Seconds past. A minute. Two minutes. Jason clutched hard on his wheeling board, the splinters digging into his back.

“ **I should be on break tomorrow,** ” the reply finally came, and Jason breathed again. “If not, I work nights. I’m still good for late morning.”

“ **Good, I work graveyard shifts too. Morning’s good for me. 11am, tomorrow?** ” 

“ **Thank god, yeah. I’m good for that. Text me your address, and I’ll see you then.** ” Jason quickly spelt and and sent the location without moment’s thought, and slumped back against the board. His beating heart wrestled with itself to get back to normal, and his limbs suddenly felt tired and weak. The marks on his hand from holding the wrench too tight glowed red lines across his palm. Jason took a moment to roll himself out, sit up and swipe the sweat off his naked torso.

“Dude,” Roy called from a distance, alerting every customer in the vicinity. They all looked at him eyes raking up and down his form. Roy then took the mercy of walking towards him before continuing with his thought.

“You’re all red,” Roy pointed at him, and indeed, Jason’s Gotham pale/sun-freckled skin was currently a beet red. He could still feel the heat in his cheeks.

Just hot, you know,” Jason weakly pointed at the summer sun setting behind him. He wondered if he currently looked as he did in that photo, all hot and built and skin glowing with sweat.

Well, Jason hoped he could measure to the photos of himself online. He got it bad for this officer. Real fucking bad.

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I've really wanted to write for a while! This is like...my personal therapy about Tinder and dating. Let's hope mechanic bad boy does Dick right. 
> 
> I'm Airdanteine or Air, and I do art and writing for Batman and Jaydick stuff. You can check out my art at <https://www.airsart.tumblr.com>. If you like it, do kudos, bookmark or leave a comment below!


End file.
